I struggle with meditation.
There I said it.
Now that I’ve said it, I realize it isn’t true.
Meditation is easy for me.
There, that feels right.
So why the switch?
It’s expectations vs reality. I’m sure that a lot of people who know me or follow me on social media, know that I put out a video recently focusing on the idea of expectations vs reality, and for me this is a perfect example. What we expect meditation should be vs what it actually is.
If one were to ask a group of people what mediation means to them, many people would respond that is something like this picture; sitting in a quiet space, in a very specific pose and have silence for an hour. Maybe it’s dark, maybe there’s some incense... and look, for some who practice that’s exactly what it is. And that is great.
Yet for some meditation means sitting in the woods listening to nature. Or it's sitting on a beach listening to the waves crash or watching the dune grass sway in the wind. And still for for others, it can be standing on the top of a mountain.
The reality is that no two people’s meditation is the same, and I have learned to embrace my meditation and how it works for me. I don't allow others perceptions if what meditation should be ruin what is a wonderful, and essential, part of my day
That’s the point.
We as a society place so many expectations on what should be as opposed to simply allowing things to be. It doesn’t matter if we do it to ourselves or to others, when we do this we place our emotions, our baggage our struggles onto others. Or even more damaging, we do it to ourselves. We assume that we are supposed to feel a certain way and that we are bad people if we don’t.
At Loeta we have a saying, “Meet the client where they are.” We embrace every family in a spirit of acceptance and presence and we come from a place of support and empathy. So many times, by the time they get to us, families feel emotionally beaten up and feel that they are failures as parents, parents, siblings or people. They have been hearing from society that they should be doing better in school, that they should be able to handle the alcohol, that they should just tell their kids no. We spend time working with everyone to break down those expectations and we focus on the realities. The realities that every family has issues, that no-one is perfect, and that to take care of others, we must first take care of ourselves.
Expectations vs. reality…
Bar Clarke has been working with families for 30 years. He uses his knowledge of family dynamics coupled with his own personal struggles to help families find a new path